We’re Marketing Consultants

But don’t take our word for it. Take the word of Frontier Communications. We received their phone book just yesterday — hand delivered by a grumpy, underemployed man in his 50s. And there we were: right there under marketing consultants in the yellowish pages in the back. We. Exist. Ha!

There are fewer more gratifying validators of one’s existence and self-importance than seeing one’s name in the yellow pages.

Correction: there are zillions of things more gratifying than seeing one’s name in the yellow pages.

But I am not writing about those zillion things. This post is about the yellow pages. Like, I don’t know, WHY are they still printing them? There’s nothing particularly nostalgic about flipping through this archaic thing. There’s no hipster vinyl-vs.-CD equvialent argument to be made here. The Matthews/Monroe phone book is of no practical alternate use. Not thick enough to serve as booster for my 3-year-old son. We’ve no wobbly furniture that needs shoring up… Right into the recycling bin. Shame.

Ever since Al Gore invented the internet, this is one publication that should have died swiftly.

So tell us: when’s the last time you “let your fingers do the walking?”